I am sure you have all seen the ridiculous commercial where the girl is sitting on her couch with her laptop computer asking herself, "How do you say so long to a period that is too long?" For those of you who have not seen the commercial, it is for a birth control pill called Loestrin 24 Fe.

I was talking to the Lizzard the other day about how funny this commercial is to me. Because, honestly, who sits around and randomly asks themselves these questions, gets on the internet and types that long bizarre sentence into Google, expecting to get an answer that takes you directly to a website which answers that exact question? The funny thing is...as a test...I typed the sentence into Google, figuring that since it was part of Loestrin 24's marketing campaign, that it would take me directly to their website...But guess what??? It does not!!! It takes you to the MySpace page of a girl named Mandi0459. Hilarious! Someone dropped the metatag-keyword-search-ball on that one. Their whole campaign is based on this absurd question and the question does not even lead you to the product??? Priceless.

Finally, I found the web page by doing a search for "shorter periods". Once I got to the website, I read a little bit about the Loestrin 24 pill. Fine. It can shorten long periods down to 3 days. Great. Of course, this begs the question, would shaving 2 days off of, say, a 5-day period really make that big a difference in a girl's life? I mean after 3 days...haven't you really already gone the distance? You can not endure 2 MORE DAYS to finish things up?? Really? Whatever. Maybe some therapy to get over those "dirty genital" issues would be more useful...no? Like I said, whatever.

But it gets better...there is a section on the site called Meet Cammie and her dog, Shorty. You can see the commercial, read Cammie's Story, see her apartment, look in her closet, see her neighborhood [she lives in a loft off of Avenue A!], meet her friends, her dog, find out what music she likes. Ummm, hello? What is this, "The Complete Guide of How-to-Stalk Cammie"? I am surprised that they did not provide us with a chart of her menstrual cycle so that her stalkers will know WHICH 3 DAYS not to show up for the rape...Christ.

For anyone who is interested in having only 4 periods per year, we have Seasonale. Need I say more? Ugh.

Labels: commercials, female, funny, girl stuff