Test, test, test... I will be starting a new WP blog for myself sometime soon, complete with a whole separate domain name, since blogger refuses to publish to my FTP anymore. I may convert this blog into Wordpress and migrate it -- or I may leave it here and start fresh. Not sure yet...

But the new one will be at www.iamvanessa.com

I will be back, despite Blogger's serious bitch slapping of my blog. Now, PUBLISH, MOTHER FUCKER!!!

Labels: anger, annoying, blogging, friends

I am having a bitch of a time trying to balance blogging and working outside of the house. It sucks because I was so regular with posting...now I just feel like a failure who can't manage her time. But the thing is, I'm doing laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. with whatever free time that is not taken up by sleeping and watching the few highly necessary television programs we like to watch each week. Ugh! In addition, I have a freelance website job going on -- for a certain Pilates studio in New York -- which I am very excited about -- but again, less free time for me and me-blog when I get home each day. Ah, well.

The other thing that has made me actually avoid blogging is my ongoing frustration with Blogger mistreating me and my post publishing process. I know that the best solution is to migrate to dynamic blogging (i.e. Wordpress) -- and I WILL do this! But, F*CK! I just don't have the time right now...so I avoid...because Blogger can't piss me off if I don't blog!

One thing that we have been having fun with is KITTY CAM. I got a web cam for Christmas (which works independently from a computer -- just hooks up to our home network) that allows us to watch our cats when we are not home...or when we have our backs turned and we want to see what those little f*ckers are doing when we are not looking. Plus, their Grandma really likes to check in on them from Connecticut -- just to see how fat they are or to watch them playing. I don't know why I enjoy this so much, but I do. It's like I'm producing my own Feline reality tv show! Here are some still shots from the KITTY CAM as an animated GIF -- of Noodle the Cat.

Labels: annoying, blogging, cats, family, friends, fun, funny, gifs, lizzard, noodle, pets, video, web

Blogger won't completely finish publishing my blog -- which means it's uploading incompletely and not updating all of my posts. I can tell that this is happening (aside from the obvious of them telling me) because the 02/2008 archive page gets published first and on it I have 2 comments for the previous post -- but on my main index page, it says I have 1 comment. Put it this way, Blogger is very unkind to FTP-uploading bloggers who made their own templates. I am getting so fed up with this crap that I am seriously thinking about creating a Wordpress blog -- except the amount of work involved with migrating and template modifications, well, quite simply, the thought makes me ill.

FOR THOSE WHO EXPERIENCED DIFFICULTY LISTENING TO THE SONG FROM MY PREVIOUS -- YOU CAN HEAR IT HERE: http://www.vanessaleehamlen.com/blog/joan/

[It seems as though the closing embed tag keeps getting dropped when publishing -- which makes the song player not want to work in Mozilla -- probably cock-sucking-Blogger's fault...What else is new?]

So I ask ask you all...How easy is it set things up to publish with Wordpress instead of Blogger? I want to publish to my own hosted domain and I want to use my own template. And, unlike Blogger, I don't think that the entire blog needs to be republished every time I post a new post -- because the bigger the blog gets...you get the idea. How does publishing with Wordpress work/differ?

The comments are open!

Labels: anger, annoying, blogging, scary, web, wishes

Diane Keaton has really been getting under my skin lately. Well, maybe it's been longer than just lately. I think this has been going on for some time now, but I just can't put my finger on exactly when it started. Let's say...it has been off and on for about two years? Maybe.


Anyway, you might be wondering, "How does Diane Keaton make the Butterfly crazy?"

I could say it has something to do with her need to make every character she portrays on film gesticulate like a psychotic mime addicted to amphetamines. It seriously makes me want to grab her god damned flailing arms and strap them to her sides with duct tape...But no, that's only part of it.


I could also mention the positively shrill and hysterical quality that her voice takes on whenever one of her characters is having some sort of neurotic breakdown. Because I mean, really, can you think of any part she has played over the years that did not incorporate this performance?? I honestly think that she is not playing parts anymore, but rather making extended-cameo appearances in films as herself. Except, it's more than that...


I could talk about her perpetually bad posture and how she sort of slouches while jutting her hips forward in a most irritating way...Is this her body's idea of an endearing pout for the spine? It's not sexy, stop it, stop it right now! My former ballet teacher, Ms. D'Aubray Goncharoff would be appalled and promptly throw Diane out of her class if she saw this crap.


I may point out -- what I strongly suspect might actually be written into her contract -- a stipulation that all of her costumes are to involve numerous clothing layers above the waist, ridiculously voluminous skirts and a copious helping of scarves. She looks so bundled and uptight that it makes me constipated to look at her on screen. And, this wardrobe issue brings me agonizingly close to the one thing that makes me most insane about Diane Keaton...

Have you ever noticed that this woman has a serious, serious, SERIOUS addiction to belts? Not just belts, but belts so wide that they'd almost be suitable for use during weightlifting? Diane, dear, you need help. Step away from the belts!


For example, I was watching Because I Said So tonight on cable. On a whim, I decided to count how many times she wore an insane belt. [You can try this same game yourself with any of her movies, like a fashion drinking game!] And, I am positively alarmed to report that she was wearing a belt wider than 2 inches (more like 3-4 inches!) count 'em -- on NINETEEN separate occasions, with the exception of ONE time where she had a belt that was approximately 1 1/2 inches wide, and another scene in which she was wearing her belted bathrobe (which may or may not count, technically) -- all in the same film! That's TWENTY-ONE extremely-belted moments. Jesus Christ. I think she was wearing no belt in perhaps five (?) scenes...not much more than that, I assure you.


Boy, let me tell you, Diane can work a belt into ANY situation. She can NOT do Formal Wear without a menacing belt (as seen in the first two pictures above.) She will do it over a thick series of shirt layers (third picture)...she will do it over blazers and coats (fifth picture which is actually a real life occurrence - but you can just as easily see the same thing in Because I Said So too!)...And last, but not least, her crowning achievement? At left, incorporating a huge belt into a wedding gown -- which by the way, also makes use of the bundled-buttoned-shirt-with-scarf motif!


Listen lady, I'm all for a signature style. But, fuck. Change it up once in a while, will ya? The Annie-Hall-thing had to be phased out of all women's wardrobes at some point, now you need to phase out this "crazy Diane" business, too. Really. It's time.


[ Photo credits: Picture #1, Picture #2, Picture #3, Picture #4, Picture #5, Picture #6 ]

Labels: annoying, clothes, crazy, dianekeaton, movies, pet peeves, photos, scary

All You Need Is Luv's - video downloaded from Metacafe


Today, I had the misfortune to see this Godforsaken travesty of music. Truly a turd, which I suppose, is appropriate to the product in question...

All I can say to Michael Jackson regarding this disgusting misuse of The Beatles' music? To quote Joseph Welch's famous words, "Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?"

Labels: advertising, anger, annoying, commercials, music, videos

Nutmeg sleeps in weird positions.

Jackson makes weird faces when he yawns.

I get mad when I get postcards in the mail from someone whom I have explicitly told to leave me alone...doesn't matter who, dear readers...suffice it to say that I am irritated when my wishes are not respected, over and over again. Maybe this will get read and incorporated...maybe it won't. My blog, my feelings, my outlet. So, if you are reading -- Fuck Off, Person.

That's all I have to say today, good and bad.

Labels: adult, anger, annoying, blogging, cats, cute, jackie, Nutmeg, pet peeves, pets, wishes

For a few months, I had the Last.fm "Music Like..." widget in my sidebar. You all may have actually played some music from it in the past. (??) It was nifty.

Lately, I was noticing that when I clicked play (usually while I am writing a blog post, I will play it to listen to something while I write, etc.) the first song played completely, but then, the songs that followed would play about 4-5 seconds before skipping to another song snippet of 4-5 seconds...over and over...and over. It was like channel surfing against my will. Little "preview" snippets of songs, one after the other.

I don't know if this is a problem with Last.fm -- perhaps it is a glitch? -- I don't remember this happening in the past. Maybe, there was a trial period on Last.fm for the widget, and then, it was meant to stop working? Who knows? [Maybe one of my readers who uses Last.fm knows something about this? Let me know if I missed something.]

Anyway, it was annoying me. I decided to scrap it and substitute in my own player -- because I already have plenty of musical content available from my WBFR radio project that I could use. Now, you will see in the sidebar my own radio player that will play music at random from my personal library. Currently, it is playing from the WBFR_dance and WBFR_winter_2007 mixes. I will keep adding more songs to the XML playlist that pulls the music from my WBFR project, but I also need to add some newer content. Eventually. The point is, my own radio station player will not annoy me and will be more reliable. Hopefully, some of you will enjoy the music. There is some really good stuff in there, if I do say so myself. ;-)

For more information on any of the artists or albums, send me an email (check the sidebar for the address) or leave me a comment. I am always happy to talk music.


[NOTE TO SELF: You'll have to sub-out the Last.fm widget on The Daily Lizzard also...a future task...with uploaded music to suit the Jazz-theme we have going on over there...Fun! Yeah, very future task.]


UPDATE: Put together some fast and dirty content for The Daily Lizzard's radio player yesterday (!Last.fm was really bugging me!) because I had some free time while I was waiting for somebody...And, I am excited to say that not only does she have some really great jazzy music to play over there, but a lot of it is from indie artists who deserve exposure -- so this is really nice all around. Plus, I used a beautiful color-coordinated player for her blog that I love. Take a listen if you have the chance...play it in the background while you surf the web...You'll feel like you are in the Lizzard's personal Jazz Lounge with martinis for everyone! But, I'd like an Amaretto Sour, please! [The more sour, the better...with an orange slice and cherry...K-thx, bai.]

Labels: annoying, bands, blogging, butterfly, code, Last.fm, lizzard, music, templates, WBFR, web, widgets

I have been trying to get into doing my yoga on a regular basis. This does not happen, of course, but I am trying... Which kind of makes me crazy -- because it really does make me feel good when I am doing it -- and when I am done. You would think that it would be pretty easy to get into something like that. I have all of my fun accessories...my colorful mat...my bricks...my strap...and my really great instructional DVDs, courtesy of Seane Corn. But, alas, I do not do it enough. I think this has something to do with feeling like I have such a long way to go...in terms of feeling like I did when I was my most fit. It is discouraging and annoying not to see results quickly. Yes, this is probably the crux of the matter! But no excuses, I just have to do it. Eventually, I will start to see something happening and not just feel achy all over.

Things I do feel differences in pretty quickly are: my lower back usually feels better, a truly deep breath actually feels relaxing while I am doing yoga, and I sweat like a maniac, which is great for my skin.

The thing that I have a hard time buying? The whole idea of the yoga poses and the twisting "squeezing toxins and waste materials" out of my organs. I have read that this is true -- because the contraction of muscles helps to move blood and fluids through the body, the faster they move through the body, the faster your body can process them and move them out. From a circulation system standpoint, this all sounds perfectly reasonable. But, it always irks me when the yoga DVDs mention this during an exercise...because it sounds so similar to the language that the "high colonic" nutjobs use...and, from what I understand, colonics are total bullshit. I think colonics appeal to people's psychological hangups about poop and disgust with their bodily functions -- that if they could just get the "dirty, dirty poop!" out of them faster, they would "feel cleaner" or "feel empty" -- all under the guise of "removing toxins" and losing 3lbs faster...

So, what am I saying, here? I am not sure. I guess, if someone would like to show me some real medical evidence that colonics are good for you, then great. I might even consider having one -- it's not bloody likely that I would pay for one, but if I could do it myself, I might. In the meantime, I will continue to push myself to do my yoga. And, I will grit my teeth and take a deeper Vinyasa breath when Seane mentions the squeezing of my toxins, trusting that she is not a total nutjob who is putting me on. Conscious intention of breath, whatever.


All I know is that, even with crunchy-granola Seane Corn having a chunk of one of her eyebrows missing, I still like her WAY BETTER than that condescending bitch, Suzanne Deason and her f'ing crooked, sideways-talking mouth! I can not abide that woman talking about squeezing my toxins. I would like to squeeze her toxins, with my hands on her neck...while I am in Downward-Facing Dog position, of course!

Labels: annoying, exercise, health, learning, pet peeves, photos, recreation, videos, yoga

Been having some problems with publishing to my blog...I write posts and try to publish them...and get the dreaded "Publishing taking longer than expected...blah blah blah." Eventually, hours later, the posts will arrive on the blog. There is no such thing as a "spontaneous post" to my blog when this garbage is going on. And if I decide to edit or add something, that will take hours to appear on the blog. Very, very annoying. Been going on for a few weeks. I called my host service -- nothing useful. But, I think I found some actual help on resolving the issue from one of the kind folks in the Google/Blogger Help Group. Doesn't happen very often, but once in a while, someone answers...and actually knows what s/he is talking about when it comes to the question being asked. Which is refreshing -- as compared to the responses where the person just generically refers you to Blogger Help -- as if you haven't read all of those articles already. So thanks, nitecruzr. It seems as though your writings on FTP/Blogger problems may have fixed my issue. This post is a test of that...

In the meantime, I felt I needed some virtual flowers to pick up my spirits. Because the Trudy-ChooChoo-Cat has been trying our patience something awful. We had a horrible time with trying to medicate her today -- getting clawed, bleeding, foaming at the mouth, wasting pills, getting pissed with her, getting pissed with each other while getting pissed at her...you get the idea. She is impossible! But, by 11PM?+/- I found a method of wrapping her in the towel that works much better for keeping her "blades of death" out of our skin. Doesn't help us with the drooling and foaming, the biting and the Exorcist-head-turning theatrics that she puts on to keep us from easily putting anything in her mouth -- BUT, it does give us a better chance with those challenges when we are not screaming in pain from being slashed by her. So that's good. It is a good thing she is a wonderful cat in every other way because this shit is for the birds. Seriously.

Ok then, enjoy my virtual flowers! Aren't they pretty? They make me feel better (even if they are just imaginary!)



UPDATE: Yes, the test seems to show that the fixes worked! YAY! Thanks, nitecruzr, again!

Labels: annoying, blogging, cats, ChooChoo, computers, friends, pets, reading, testing, web

Labels: annoying, blogs, Clipmarks, family, funny, web

Labels: advertising, annoying, commercials, disasters, movies

The symbol of my day's torture...my entire St. Patrick's Day was spent:

a) installing this year's subscription upgrades for my computer protection softwares
b) getting error messages on certain liveUpdate installation processes
c) not getting the apparent fix installations to work
d) waiting for a chat rep to join me online to try to fix my problems
e) getting links for other fixes to run that didn't work
f) being told to download the Norton Uninstall Tool and uninstall all Norton softwares from my computer and start fresh
g) waiting over an hour(?) for all of the Norton applications and GoBack histories to be removed
h) reinstalling all of the softwares and encountering new, different error messages
i) resolving most of the error messages, some, not resolving...
j) waiting for a chat rep to join me, again, for a long time, to discuss why my firewall subscription still says that I have only 16 days left?
k) re-entering my new product key in a different way so that it could be recognized this time
l) thinking I was done with all installations and issues and was finally ready to re-run my virus and spyware full system scan so that I could have everything up to date...only to discover 90,000 files into the scan that I had more issues to resolve!
m) waiting for a chat rep to join me, again, for a shorter time, to let her know that she needed to merge my leftover subscription days with my renewed year subscriptions so that I would get the full 396 days that I have paid for...
n) following all of the directions to get the server to update my new balance to my computer
o) finally resuming my virus and spyware full system scan so that I can rest easy...

That was my ENTIRE fucking day in a nutshell. I need a drink, I need a lot of drinks, but alas, I will not drink them --- because I would be drinking alone into the night, like an alcoholic, whilst the boyfriend sleeps. I'd rather have tea and Raspberry Newtons, thank you very much.

While I am bitching, let me mention another, unrelated annoyance (a spelling pet-peeve)...I recently read a comment on another blog where the commenter said that one of his/her career ambitions was [is] to become a writer. This same person, within the single comment posting, misspelled the word "definitely" as "definately" not once, but twice! It took a great deal of self-restraint not to leave my own comment suggesting that the person learn to spell first if s/he wanted to have a prayer of becoming a professional writer. Good God! I behaved myself though --- and saved it for my own blog --- where it is more appropriate for me to voice my "issues" with the mangling of the English language.

/end rant

Labels: annoying, computers, holidays, pet peeves, software