I have missed my poor blog. I didn't realize how close we had become...until I couldn't spend time with it? (Do blogs have gender identities? Hmmmmm. Perhaps that could be a future post topic...) Anyway, in pondering my remorse for being such a bad blogger -- a great song popped into my head about friends -- by Joan Armatrading.

Now, before you go and think I am in my late 40's or early 50's, I'm not. Of course, I have had grey hair since I was 19 years old -- so perhaps I have an old soul? That aside, I got into Joan as a kid because my mom used to listen to her all the time...as well as Maria Muldaur, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell, et al. Her "Me Myself I" album has long been one of my favorite selections to listen to when I am feeling moody and introspective. So, in honor of my good friend-blog, I'd like to share this great song, "Friends", with you all. Might I suggest a nice glass of wine -- or your favorite smooth spirit of choice -- before you listen? Joan's voice is deep, rich and strong -- I find that it kind of sinks into you like the heat of swallowing a luscious gulp of red wine...I find Amaretto di Saronno works well, too. Anyway, I've included the lyrics here for your enhanced enjoyment. I'll be back soon...thanks for hanging in there with me, everybody!

[ Sidenote: Congrats to the GIANTS!! Woohoo! You can take the Butterfly out of New York, but you can't take the New Yorker out of the Butterfly! ;-D ]

FOR THOSE WHO ARE EXPERIENCING DIFFICULTY LISTENING TO THE SONG -- YOU CAN HEAR IT HERE: http://www.vanessaleehamlen.com/blog/joan/

[It seems as though the closing embed tag keeps getting dropped when publishing -- which makes the song player not want to work in Mozilla -- probably cock-sucking-Blogger's fault...What else is new?]




Friends by Joan Armatrading

It's been so long
Since I've seen you
My old friend
I remember your eyes
How they would shine
Those crazy times
When you and I
Fooled around
I remember the time
You fell in love
Didn't know how
To say goodbye
To your baby
And you made me take
The goodbye note
Around
And that little girl
She cried and cried
And she asked me if
I knew exactly why
You'd gone
I told a lie
I said you felt
She'd be much happier
With someone else
But then you'd do
The same for me
Remember when
We stayed out late
We'd cause a fight
But we would never stay
To the end
I loved you then
I love you still
You know I think
I always will
You're a good friend
A good friend
To me
Who was it
Who came for me when I was
Stranded in the bad man's land
Who was it
Who put up bail for me when I was
So desperate to get out
Who believed with me
That I was not guilty
Who gave me beer when I was thirsty
And who gave me twenty-five dollars to hold

Labels: beauty, blogging, butterfly, childhood, favorites, friends, hobbies, lizzard, memories, mom, music, newyork

Labels: childhood, famous faces, freaks, funny, gifts, holidays, misfits, toys, videos, vintage, YouTube

Apparently, I am not the only abuser of Vicks VapoRub out there. However, unlike Aunt Jackie (see yesterday's comment section), I have never eaten Vicks -- I am strictly a "sebaceous nasal abuser" of the substance. As part of my recovery program, I am required to do this Public Service Announcement on the proper usage of Vicks VapoRub...



According to my jar (and the Vicks website), the DIRECTIONS FOR USE are as follows:

See important warnings under "When using this product."

* Adults and children 2 years and over:

• Rub a thick layer on chest and throat or rub on sore, aching muscles.
• Cover with a warm, dry cloth if desired.
• Keep clothing loose about throat/chest to help vapors reach the nose/mouth.
• Repeat up to three times per 24 hours or as directed by doctor.

* Children under 2 years of age: Ask a doctor.


Other Information

* Store at room temperature.

Questions? Call 1-800-873-8276.

Okay, that's all fine and good, but I still fail to see how a child under 2 years of age can:

1. Read these directions.
2. Call a doctor.
3. Assuming the fucking receptionist will ever actually put the doctor on the phone, is a baby really articulate enough to ask the doctor any questions about the use of this product by someone his/her age?

Hmmmmm? Moving on.


The WARNINGS are as follows (I have made bold the particular sections of interest that relate to the forms of product-abuse engaged in by Jackie and me ):

For external use only; avoid contact with eyes.

Do not use:

• By mouth
• With tight bandages
• In nostrils
• On wounds or damaged skin

Ask a doctor before use if you have:

• Cough that occurs with too much phlegm (mucus)
• Persistent or chronic cough such as occurs with smoking, asthma, or emphysema

When using this product, do not:

• Heat
• Microwave
• Add to hot water or any container where heating water. May cause splattering and result in burns.

Stop use and ask a doctor if:

• Muscle aches and pains persist more than 7 days or come back
• Cough lasts more than 7 days, comes back, or occurs with fever, rash, or persistent headache

These could be signs of a serious condition.

If pregnant or breast-feeding, ask a health professional before use.

Keep out of reach of children. If swallowed, get medical help or contact a Poison Control Center right away.


©2007 Procter & Gamble. All Rights Reserved. All copy and claims valid only in the U.S.

I must say, I had never considered microwaving my Vicks before, but...

And, I love the fact that "All copy and claims valid only in the U.S." So, if I am in say, France, I could do ANYTHING with Vicks VapoRub (including putting some on my pooper, for freshness) because none of these warnings would apply there! Awesome.

Of course, it does not surprise me at all that I am an abuser of Vicks VapoRub -- considering Jackie's history of eating it until the age of 30 -- we come from the same maladjusted, Vicks-abusing family. I am quite sure that her older sister, aka my Mommie Dearest, was probably the one who fed it to her for the first time, as their mother probably did to her...Yes, my own mother started me on the path to my greasy-nosed nightmare.

But, there is help out there. Pick up the phone and call the 1-800-number. You'll be glad you did.


/end P.S.A.



[Disclaimer: I make no promises that I will not nasally abuse Vicks VapoRub in the future. I'm just sayin', if I have a bad cold, I may use again. I'll let my sponsor deal with it when the time comes...Thank you.]

Labels: adult, aunt jackie, butterfly, childhood, colds, comments, funny, lizzard, mom, products, sickness, VicksVapoRub

The man's niece came with her parents this past weekend and we had a lot of fun with them. She terrorized the cats, of course. She also loved the playground in our complex right outside the front door. She's a jungle-gym-climbing-machine! I can not get over how big she has gotten -- she's almost 3 years old (November) -- and looks like an actual kid now!! It seems like she was just in diapers...


Trying to settle down from a hyper period of cat chasing...


In search of those cats...I have a rainbow string, kitties!

Labels: cats, childhood, cute, family, favorites, funny, isabelly, love, pets, photos, visitors

My good friends, Michael and Lori, recently sent me this updated ultrasound picture of the foetus, also known as Nicholas. Yes, it is a boy-foetus!

Enjoy rolling around in that amniotic soup, my friend, covered with a cottage-cheese-like substance...Soon enough, you will be here in the real world with the rest of us, wishing you could go back!



It is hot today! I am thirsty:

Labels: blogging, childhood, current events, cute, family, friends, love, Nicholas, pictures, towhead, ultrasound

When I first became interested in this whole blogging thing, I was strictly a reader. I tried to start a blog, but did not feel I had the stamina to keep up with it. Growing up, I never kept a journal -- beyond a few isolated entries in notebooks here and there, sometimes years apart. I did write letters to friends pretty often. I guess something of a "journal" was given away in the letters I wrote.

The other problem was a feeling of shyness. Not sure I wanted to blog, to share. It felt weird. So, I gave it up right away.

But today, I was feeling struck by the fact that my entries on this blog, while plentiful, were more often than not, fluffy? Not always. I do try to keep things funny for my own sake. I try to say something, even something silly, or just a notation of something interesting I saw elsewhere, as a time-capsule of "self"...as an exercise in regularity...in sticktoitiveness. To say, "I DO have the stamina!"

I thought back for a moment, back to my few feeble attempts at an anonymous blog. I re-read my few entries (posted and not posted) and felt almost perplexed -- "Who is this person? I wrote that?" And so, I decided to dust one of them off...because I thought it was funny, but also very telling. To those who know me really well, it speaks so innocently and simply, but peculiarly accurately, of the person I am today. What do I mean by this? I see the seeds of my current self in this childhood memory...my creativeness...my joy of feeling chills from spider-like tickling...and my selfish, demanding nature with regard to things being done "properly!"

Early childhood inventions: The Tickling Machine

As a child, I built the following engineering masterpiece:

Using several Tinker Toy sticks, I attached a rubberband to each one, knotted and fitted at the end of each stick - tight enough so that they did not slide off. This formed a loop on the end of each stick by which the individual stick could be hung. A much larger, "master" rubberband was threaded through these loops and looped through itself to tie the grouping off - into a sort of "key chain" of sticks.

I then presented my father with this bouncing windchime of sticks and rubberbands. In addition, I offered my bare 5-year-old back to him and demanded to be tickled with the instrument. My father required extensive training before he mastered the desired effect I had envisioned for the apparatus...namely, chills.

Brrrrrrrrrrr!

Labels: blogging, childhood, experiments, family, funny, memories, reading, recycling